Posted on 27 September, 2015Reblogged from facetiousbatman Source weloveshortvideos.com
Posted on 18 September, 2015Reblogged from heroics
harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson
“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”
“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”
and by government book jockey dark arts teacher you mean Tammy 2
“you know Ron, may I remind you that under the terms of educational decree #23, as enacted by the Minister of Magic, you should be taking my to the 9 and a half platform of humptown station so we can go to bonerville.”
“go feed yourself to the snake in the basement, to hell with you woman, goodbye”
Posted on 25 August, 2015Reblogged from kazombie
When you feel embarrassed
then i’ll be your pride
When you need directions
then i’ll be the guide
For all time.
Posted on 19 August, 2015Reblogged from bopboopbopboop-deactivated20160
Me on a date at Olive Garden
Me: Why are we at Olive Garden? This place is not even that good.
Date: Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear anything. There are too many large numbered families having Sunday dinner here tonight.
Me: What? I can’t hear you. The waiters here are naming all the soups of the day too loudly. They’ve been naming them for ten minutes. There can’t possibly be that many types of soup.
Date: What? Could you speak a little louder? There’s a ringing in my ears.
Waiter: Hello! Sorry for the wait, Sunday nights are always the busiest. How can I start you off tonight?
Date: What? What was that? What? I still can’t hear anything over the sound of familial laughter. Are you guys sweating too? It’s so hot.
Me: [Starts applying expensive chap stick silently]
Waiter: Would you like to hear the soups of the day?
New Yorker seated in the booth behind us: [Peeks over the half wall and casually shouts] No, but I can give you directions to a real Italian restaurant!
Me: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]
Waiter: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]
Family party of 17 seated next to us: [Looks into the camera like in The Office]
Date: [Screams in terror because he suddenly realizes he was the one who died in the car accident last night - not his sister, and now he is in hell for eternity as punishment for the sins he committed in his short, mortal life]
Posted on 22 July, 2015Reblogged from facetiousbatman
My therapist just told me a joke.
So this girl walks up to another girl and says “Hey, have you heard of the Bechdel Test?”
And the other girl says, “Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day!”
SIT DOWN.
i don’t get it
I feel like this is an inside joke that I am not getting
FUCK
Posted on 22 April, 2015Reblogged from dancingdraco
Posted on 20 April, 2015Reblogged from ventdelanuit-deactivated2015071 Source Flickr / etoile2802
Posted on 20 April, 2015Reblogged from ventdelanuit-deactivated2015071
Posted on 19 April, 2015Reblogged from majorenglishesquire
Posted on 12 April, 2015Reblogged from dancingdraco
Posted on 12 April, 2015Reblogged from hellogiggles Source flavia-rose
Posted on 4 April, 2015Reblogged from magnuskane-blog
Vivid Theme by JoachimT Powered by Tumblr
Install Theme